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Attention Deficit Disorder
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The story of Neil
My son Neil was born in 1997. As a young child, we noticed that some things were different about Neil. He cried much more than normal for a scrape or some other small hurt. He would cringe and cry when there was a loud noise. We never really had a conflict of wills with Neil, as we had with the other children. As Neil grew, we gave him responsibilities, as we had with all of our four previous children. However, Neil didn't seem to be able to get his responsibilities done. He dawdled more than the others had, and did not seem to be able to concentrate on the task at hand. Neil was a heavy bed wetter, and a very heavy sleeper. If he fell asleep in the Suburban, we could not wake him to get him to bed. At 7 years old, we could get him to crawl out of the truck and walk inside, but he was not awake. Neil could easily take an hour to get dressed, and would need constant reminding to do and complete the simplest chores. He did not think in a logical fashion. For instance, when getting into the truck, I told him to get in behind me. Instead of going to the seat directly behind the driver's seat, he tried to actually follow behind me into the driver's seat. Most concerning to me were Neil's "periods of absence". There were times when Neil could not speak or understand English. He could not respond properly to stimulation. He could not follow simple directions. At these times, it seemed as if Neil was not really present. He would get these incidents about once a month that I observed, for a period of about 5 minutes.
Other adults didn't think there was anything wrong with Neil. He could carry on a conversation and knew a lot about certain topics. However, getting Neil to concentrate on a lesson in school, or a household chore, was like pulling hen's teeth. I took Neil to an occupational therapist, and at her request, to a speech therapist to see if they could find out what was wrong with my son. Neil can pay attention when he wants to, and so he tested well, and they could only give me bandaid solutions, such as telling me to tape pictures of different clothes to his dresser, in the order in which I wanted him to get dressed. He could then follow the pictures and get dressed faster. I knew there was something wrong with my child - more than these bandaid solutions would address. We also saw a psychologist. She suggested ADD, and suggested I read several books on the topic. She also forced my son to answer questions which invaded our privacy - would not let us out of the office without answering them. I knew that I would never return to her office.
I heard about Suzanne Day through Alberta Home Education Association. I determined to see her, to find out whether she could help my son. Suzanne explained to me, after doing an EEG with Neil, and having him answer some questions and do some exercises, that Neil was going through life half asleep, and that at times his brain would be almost completely asleep, which accounted for the periods of absence. She said that Neil was severely ADD. She gave me a series of exercises to do with Neil every day. The exercises seemed hokey to me. I didn't understand how they could help him. However, I decided that, though I was a busy homeschool mom of 7 children, with outside responsibilities as well, the investment of an hour a day was worth it if it would help my son to lead a normal life. I decided to give the exercises a try for a month. If I had seen no improvement in a month, I would then decide whether to continue.
Within a month, Neil started wetting the bed much less. His tooth grinding lessened, and he has never again had a period of absence since we started the exercises. He started becoming more aware of the world in general, and paying attention more appropriately.
Neil has been doing neurological exercises for sixteen months now. In that time, his attention span has improved markedly. He no longer sleeps so deeply that he is impossible to wake up. He almost never wets the bed. He doesn't grind his teeth any more, as far as I know. When we started the exercises, Neil was beginning to sound out words. Now, he is reading quite fluently. He recently read an abridged version of Robinson Crusoe - it was a couple of hundred pages long. Neil is fulfilling requests without being constantly reminded, and will sometimes even do things without being asked. He gets dressed in a more reasonable amount of time. His chores and his schooling are less frustrating to him and to me, because he doesn't need those constant reminders to finish the job at hand.
I now know more about the reasons behind the exercises, and I understand that they are meant to help develop Neil beyond the infantile state in which parts of his brain were operating. Neil recently had another EEG, and significant improvement was noticed in the proportion of the different types of his brain waves. Neil is on the way to being a normal child, and I am thankful to the Lord for leading me to Suzanne Day and her neurological exercises.
In Christ,
Elizabeth
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Homeschooling children with learning and attention problems
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Dear Suzanne,
We are doing very well. Our family is finally feeling at peace and settled. This past year my health really took a turn for the worse. My doctor was concerned that I might have MS and I also had a condition called alopecia areata. I needed to get 20 injections of cortizone in my head each month. I increased my intake of Manatech, which seems to have really helped. The doctors wanted to give me other drugs but I wanted to continue taking Manatech and some multivitamins. I can now report that I am experiencing complete health.
As a result of this we have decided to bring all of the children home and homeschool them. There have been many reasons why we find ourselves in this place and certainly some of the reasons include are two children that have learning differences. We desire that each child be released to grow, know and be all that God intended them to be for His purpose and His glory. When we saw this withering away in public school, we decided to bring them home.
Yesterday, I experienced our kids having a bible study together, on their own initiative. They enjoyed learning and felt smart and excited about school! How wonderful! We have such a unique opportunity to be partners with God in nurturing confident, educated, socialized children who pour into each other and our community.
Recently our kids have received many affirming comments from other adults about their compassion, character and ability to communicate with adults. They have also expressed the positive family dynamics (this does not mean that we don't get along at times and have our troubles), but it does mean that we have learned and are continuing to learn what it means to grow in grace with one another.
I am so grateful for you and the many other people of God that have crossed our paths to help us know how each of our children are fearfully and wonderfully made, and how we can continue to nurture that.
May we continue to abide in Him and walk in grace and mercy.
Peace be with you,
Maria
Dear parents,
My family and I have been so incrediblly inspired and blessed by the ministry of the Day's and Wise Choice Educatioal services. Amongst our seven children. we have had three assessed by Suzanne,and based on her observsations and recommendations, attended David's SMT training seminar. It is so refreshing to know that they care for the emotional, physical, and psychological wellness of my children. This is reflected in the manner in which the testing is done, and the program that is set up, and resources recommended to begin on a journey towards helping our children become all that God has planned for them to be.
I can add that I have read and research all the resourses that the Day's reccommend, and all have been a blessing! I believe every homeschooling family would benefit from the Biblical Concepts in Counselling Emotional Intimacy Seminar. The tools are invaluable in keeping our hearts clear to receive God's love to love Him and others. My family have implemented the nutrtional changes that Suzanne has reccommended and have seen wonderful results. I also have been blessed by the enthusiasm and spirit the Day's reflect in all they encounter as they serve families like ours, who are struggling. They are very transparent and humble, and so eager to learn in their oun lives....We are blessed to have such a service and ministry availabe to us!!
Because of the Day's help with the children, I can testify that my heart is now turned toward my children in a way I had never imagined, and that I accept and enjoy them for all God made them to be. And I see a joy in my children, as they grow and make progress ....LEARN!!
Sincerely, Carla.
Dear homeschooling parents of children struggling with learning,
I am a homeschooling mom of nine children and am entering my twentieth year of schooling. My four eldest children have completed twelve years at home and have been successful in the choices they have made for "post-secondary" education. Although this is a very gratifying experience for me as their main teacher it would not have been possible for one of my children had it not been for the expertise, assistance and encouragement of David and Suzanne Day. My eldest son who is now twenty-five has struggled with certain learning disabilities or challenges as well as attention disorder challenges throughout his schooling years.
I suspected he had difficulties from an early age but had somewhat bought into the "better late than early" philosophy, which may be fine for some children but in the end was a detriment to my son. I did not want him to be labelled and was also given varying opinions as to what may or may not have been his problems. I will not elaborate on all the different opinions I was given; suffice it to say that whatever road no matter how short or long it seemed to be always ended up in the same place: a dead end. Neither my son or I received any help and only experienced much disappointment, discouragement and frustration for several years.
I was trying to teach several of his younger siblings while caring for toddlers or coping with pregnancies. Some days seemed very long and futile. I felt like a failure. My son just didn't seem to be able to learn. No amount of repetition seemed to help. I was not always able to maintain a positive attitude and sometimes felt that my son was capable of more and that he didn't try hard enough. I thought perhaps he wanted more attention and his daydreaming was very annoying. I was to learn later that because of his attention challenges that when he couldn't concentrate any longer that he would just shut me out and enter his own world of dreaming etc. At the time however this behaviour and lack of progress was frustrating for me and discouraging for my son. He felt stupid because his siblings were surpassing him. He began to get resentful toward his siblings, towards me and towards God. His discouragement, frustration and resentment turned into anger. Now we had something else to deal with.
I knew I was not preparing my son for his future properly but did not know where to turn. I felt desperate.
When he turned sixteen we stopped formal education and he started working alongside his dad on the farm. This was a very positive experience for him but he still felt that there was lots he would never be able to do because of his limitations. He was afraid to try anything new for fear of failure.
Just a few months before his 22 birthday his father felt he needed to try to go to college or train in a trade. Knowing that he could not do this without some form of remediation we called the Days who we had met previously. They had an opening and were happy to take him. He was very nervous and hesitant to go but in the end he spent two months with them. This was a wonderful experience for him. We hardly knew our son when he returned. His self-confidence improved by more than 100%. He discovered all sorts of things about himself. He learned to recognise his weaknesses and how to overcome some of them but most importantly he learned to recognize his strengths and concentrate on them. Many of his previous learning challenges were lessened because of Mrs. Day's diagnosis and Mr. Day's tutoring. Their encouragement and affirmation of him and his abilities boosted his self esteem and he realized that he was "fearfully and wonderfully" made and had much to offer those around about him. He was ready to try something more. He was no longer paralyzed by fear of failure. He had also come a long way in dealing with his anger.
Once he returned home he went on to study and wrote the G.E.D. with some accommodations necessary and passed them. He has since gone on to college and has been successful in what he is studying. He needs a tutor to take notes, review the day's lessons and read his tests for him. He has also discovered that he is not the only student there that needs some help as well. He now knows that he is able to learn a trade and will be able work in that field in spite of his learning limitations. I know that the Days have played a large part in his success and for that I am truly grateful.
The Days are not through with our family yet. We have another son who has displayed some of the same tendencies as our eldest son did: later independence in such things as feeding and dressing self, delayed speech, easily frustrated and short attention span while listening to stories etc.
We decided not to wait with this son but to have him assessed early. Mrs. Day encouraged us in this way saying that children with certain learning and attention challenges need to be stimulated and encouraged as early as possible. We have had him assessed twice now by Mrs. Day and feel that our son has benefited by Mrs. Day's advice and expertise. Some of the challenges our younger son faced have already been helped because of early detection and remediation. I do not expect instant success and know from experience that the steps we make will be small and seemingly slow but I do see progress being made and can attest to the fact that my son is progressing. I am using a special reading program that Mrs. Day recommended. Although I sometimes feel like screaming because of the constant repetition my son does not seemed bored and is very pleased as he sees his own progress.
My expectations this time are more realistic because of my past experience and I have a much more positive attitude. I know that just because I can't do it by myself doesn't mean that I am a failure. I am not looking toward an unreachable goal but am just taking on step at a time. I think that just looking ahead to the next step while keeping the ultimate goal in mind is the answer for parents of children with learning and attention challenges. Keep your goals short term but remember to celebrate each achievement and let your child know how excited you are every time they take that next tiny step. Don't become discouraged with the size of the steps no matter how small they my seem to be. Just remember that even though a flight of stairs take longer than an elevator to reach the next floor it still gets you there and just as it is better for you physically to climb the stairs than to ride the elevator the lessons you and your child will learn and the character qualities you will both gain by climbing each small step will become strengths which will be invaluable to you both for the rest of your lives.
Leslie McElroy |
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